Kotaku Is Full Of Shit, Doesn't Apologize

Article 1: Kotaku claims that Ghostbusters for the PSP is on its way thanks to their sniffing around the ESRB's dumpster or some shit.

Article 2: Kotaku reveals that Ghostbusters is NOT headed to the PSP because "Sometimes (the ESRB is) not such a great resource."

Article 3: Kotaku apologizes for lying to their readership by claiming that a game was destined for release simply from gleaning info from a sometimes unreliable source.

OH WAIT.

That last article doesn't exist because Kotaku is too fucking proud/lazy/incompetent to admit they made a mistake. Of course, rectifying every mistake Kotaku makes would be a lot of work. Hell, you could almost fill an entire blog with Kotaku's mistakes.

Sources:
http://kotaku.com/5193944/the-ghostbusters-coming-to-psp
http://kotaku.com/5197528/atari-busts-hopes-of-ghostbusters-for-psp

News Flash! Ashcraft lives in Japan!

GAMING BLOG

Kotaku is the only blog I've ever read (gaming or otherwise) that publishes all the inane emails that the "editors" write back and forth to each other. I know you're trying to artificially inflate your stupid post count, but do you really need to fill it with junk like this?

Who gives a fuck about you and your dumb Japanese lending experience? Nobody, that's who. Do you know how many of your readers are married American bloggers living in Japan and looking to buy property? Obviously you don't.

Don't you have a personal blog that you can post this garbage on? You know, one that doesn't try and sell itself as a gaming blog but instead comes off as a weeaboo's guide to everything Japanese that real gamers don't give two shits about? Have fun looking for a new dining table ya dumb bastard. I'm looking forward to a post about how yours are shorter than "Western" ones.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5193628/so-yeah-i-did-it-i-bought-a-piece-of-japan

Rumor: less than 1% of Kotaku's readership can actually read Japanese

You know, I found some other interesting statistics about Japan this morning. Apparently, a staggering .71% of Kotaku's traffic originates in Japan. Since such a significant percentage of their readership is obviously fluent in Japanese, it's completely appropriate to source a Japanese website without even the half-assed courtesy of a machine-translated proxy. You stupid fucks.

So thanks for the completely relevant and important info. I'd never have imagined that Japanese gamers don't like a shitty American movie game about a franchise that has been popular in Japan for decades now. In fact, I still wouldn't believe it if you hadn't backed it up with source material in a language that nearly all of your readership CAN'T EVEN FUCKING READ.

*slow clap* indeed.

Source: ゲームドラゴンボール エボリューション

This Just In! Mike Fahey Continues To Be An Asshole!

Hey Mike, Gaston here again. The last time I supremely hated on you for something other than grammar or spelling was for your ridiculous stance on Sony pulling the Killzone ads in Canada. It's amazing that right as my blood finally started to dip under a simmer, you feel it necessary to post some heinously unrelated grouping of words that completely twists the theme of a game targeted to preteens.

Are you seriously this deprived in your sexual nature that you need to somehow turn Cooking Mama into a perverted hentai game, just to get some laughs from your braindead Kcommenters? Is this what you imagined growing up, going to school for journalism, (yeah right)? Have you been waiting for your moment to shine but instead of writing a solid piece of news, you just follow in the footsteps of Brian Asscraft and string together some sexual jokes?

Please, the next time you think it wise to infect the web with your crude writing, at least let it be about a game that isn't on the top of my 8 year old daughter's birthday list.

Go have fun sploshing with your fucking blowup doll you demented shit.

P.S. Alternate titles included Mike Fahey Attempts To Plant Brain, Fails, and I Can't Wait To Meet You In An Alley.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5170732/plant-your-seeds-in-gardening-mama-this-month

If I wanted to read about circle jerking, I'd read BoingBoing.

Goddamnit. Brian Ashcraft is the new Cory Doctorow.

HEY GUISE I WROTE A BOOK U SHOUDL CHECK OUT THIS BOOK I ROTE DID YOU KNOW I WROT A BOOOOK

This is not news. This is not video game news. This is not even book news. This is plain and simple douchebaggery.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5169900/bashcraft-penned-arcade-book-getting-french-edition