Proofread, Eh?

Maybe if you'd proofread, eh, your article wouldn't be about MULLETS. A good hockey wig could put this over the top, man.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5752045/japanese-homefront-might-make-a-villain-out-of-canada

Kotaku Writer Makes Snide Quip About Writer's Snide Quip

Hey calling people gas bags is our job, fuckwad! Go back to reporting "news," which is what I thought your site said it did. Stop dredging up non-news shit to fill your post quota for the day.

And what exactly is so snide about what he said? That people over 18 can vote? How astute! He might be a dick but at least he's got his facts correct, which is more than we can say for you nine times out of ten.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5215636/washington-post-writer-makes-snide-quip-about-gamers-voting-rights

And as an aside, says Blake DeKalb:

The times they are a changin' buddy. Sorry, you and Bill Nye are the only people that wear bow ties anymore.

Evidently English is Hard Too

I won't beat a dead horse here, because we all know that I don't care about these dolts and their daily lives, and I think publishing their emails as posts is a shameful way to drive up their post count. I might go on to suppose that very few of Kotaku's readers will pull up their newsfeeds with breakfast, sip their coffee, and muse, "Ah, Bash and Crecente. Your witty banter is such a welcome bright spot amongst the drudgery of video game news."

I will, however, point out that "Bash" can't seem to write the simplest of sentences without fucking them up. I think to criticize and mock.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5201657/moving-is-hard

Classic Cock

Sometimes you don't need fancy gimmicks or crazy metaphors to be pissed off at asscraft. This is one of those classic timeless examples that never ceases to piss me off. Any normal reporter would link to the notice and tell you the translation, but this classless egotistical fuck sees fit to post a picture of the japanese that he just happens to know how to read. Suck my dick you son of a bitch

Source: http://kotaku.com/5196756/konami-ps3-baseball-game-goes-offline-the-end

Kotaku is the worst at what they do

Mike, come on. Did you decide to write the first sentence, stop halfway, and then go huff paint for an hour? And if you're supposed to be a gaming journalist, how come your only exposure to this game so far has been a couple of screenshots and this trailer? Oh, that's right. It's because you wouldn't know gaming or journalism if they DP'd you.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5195686/wolverine-behind+the+scenes-is-best-there-is-at-what-it-does

Early Bird

Wow, so if I got to some theater in japan, I can see a final fantasy movie before it's officially released in japan? Thanks for telling us about the stuff that we absolutely don't care about that happens in japan . You know, where you live. With your wife. Who's from japan.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5167103/final-fantasy-vii-advent-children-complete-special-screening-for-800-people

Thanks For The Tip!

Oh wow, you say the metal gear online expansion costs 1,200 yen? Thanks for the hot tip! I'm sure that will come in handy for me and the other 90% of your readership that use DOLLARS. Thanks, Brian!


Source: http://kotaku.com/5167215/order-metal-gear-online-scene-expansion-early-get-cardboard-box-head