How Many People Want Kotaku Editor a Fired?

I've been away from GJK for awhile, busy with life, and to be completely honest, sick of Kotaku. I experienced some sort of burnout. I stopped reading, stopped checking... stopped caring. Sad really, because I remember laughing incredibly hard at the misfortune of Kotaku's staff.

But like a gift from the Gods, reading the new posts from my partners brought the bounce back into my step. A surge of some hope, that I could pick ANY article at random, and find a gem. I scrolled through the list of recent news and my eyes locked onto the gorgeous Orbital Frame from Zone of the Enders. I then noticed it was written by Brian Asscraft. God I wish I could place bets with these odds.

"ZoE spawned two three sequels as well as two anime."

Two three sequels?? Well which is it?!

"How many people really want Zone of the Enders a sequel?"

Nice.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5220446/kojima-productions-who-wants-zone-of-the-enders-3

Kotaku is the worst at what they do

Mike, come on. Did you decide to write the first sentence, stop halfway, and then go huff paint for an hour? And if you're supposed to be a gaming journalist, how come your only exposure to this game so far has been a couple of screenshots and this trailer? Oh, that's right. It's because you wouldn't know gaming or journalism if they DP'd you.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5195686/wolverine-behind+the+scenes-is-best-there-is-at-what-it-does

When typing the how when who into with what I hate you stupid jerks.

My nose started bleeding when I tried to make sense of this paragraph. That second sentence quite literally made me yell out loud in frustration. How can you let this slide, Brian? How in the ever living fuck you 'tards can even manage to turn a computer on, let alone convince someone to pay you for this is nothing short of a goddamn miracle. It's fucked up. ALMOST as fucked up as that second sentence.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5184511/hands-on-with-iphones-star-defense

Brian Asscraft Hints At Drinking On The Job

You're right, Brian, making video games is no walk in the park. Guess what is super easy though?

PROOFREADING YOUR SHIT WRITING!

Source: http://kotaku.com/5172743/fable-caused-burn-out-games-developer-got-bad-ideas-while-drinking

PSP To Bring Skyrocketting Prices To Mange

Back in the old days I remember being able to get mange for free! Those little parasitic mites would jump on you like nobody's business. Now we got the BIG MAN negotiating prices with their agents, while they complain about getting better skin to munch on. It's just a big mess. Thanks for adding to the bureaucracy of it all, Sony! GOD!

Source: http://kotaku.com/5171904/playstation-portable-getting-mammoth-comic-support

Square Enix Gets A Name Change, Adds Lowercase 'the'

Today is was announced by Mike Fahey, over at Kotaku.com, that Square Enix has changed their company name to the Square Enix. I gotta admit Mike, you really delivered this as close to under the radar as possible, but who am I to dispute your amazing reporting skills, right?

Source: http://kotaku.com/5171830/square-enix-snags-gambryo-engine-for-something

Great Job, Kotaku Is Looking For New Writers. Can't Keep Up With Demand!

26 posts in three days. Great job!

Source: http://kotaku.com/5168607/pikmin-2-and-donkey-kong-jungle-beat-get-new-play-control