Showing posts with label AHHHHHHH. Show all posts
Showing posts with label AHHHHHHH. Show all posts

Friday, February 4, 2011

Scientists Working on Entertaining Mike Fahey


Mike Fahey never stops proving how much of an uneducated, insensitive prick he really is. Not only does his recent post have zero to do with the video game industry, (something I give some leeway for if the article is about something exceptionally amazing), but it is littered with four paragraphs of intensely rude OP/ED reporting in regards to what the science and space community has achieved in the past four decades.


"After 37 years of broadcasting assorted human garbage to the universe at large, scientists are working on a protocol to insure future messages to extraterrestrial intelligences are more efficient and well-received. Can't we just use Twitter?"

Human garbage? Classy, Mike. Very classy. Also, a joke about using Twitter for communication with extra terrestrials! How very entertaining, mon frere!


"The Arecibo radio telescope in Puerto Rico broadcast its first messages into space in 1974, beaming a stream of binary code at globular star cluster M13 some 25,000 light years away. That message contained encoded information about human DNA, our solar system, and the telescope itself. Any alien intercepting this message would have likely been bored to tears, changing course towards a more interesting planet."

Mike, you are such an asshole. I can't fucking handle it sometimes. I really want you to think about the implications of what you write. You plainly have no concept of how incredible it was for the human race to understand our DNA structure, our solar system, and the ability to actually SEND this information somewhere 25,000 light years away. Do you even spend any time fathoming how great of a distance that is?

What makes this even worse is your assumption that an alien life form would find this boring to receive. I'm pretty sure that any life form with the technology to receive our data is intelligent enough not to consider said data to be BORING! (you fucking asshole.)


"Since then we've been sending all sorts of cultural crap into space. Pictures, sound bites, bits of music; the interstellar equivalent of pop-up ads. Ads that alien beings might not even be able to see or hear, depending on whatever passes for sensory organs in their culture."

Cultural crap. Amazing. Interstellar equivalent to pop-up ads. Are you fucking KIDDING ME? I hope one day an alien takes a god damn Polaroid of itself and beams it into your fucking hands so you can call it a cultural pop-up ad, you fucking HACK.

Secondly, I truly love that you make the point of these alien life forms possibly not having the organs to see or hear, but you absolutely assume they have the ability to be bored. God fucking Christ someone help me before I blow my brains out.


"The messages have also been rather anthropocentric, featuring humans and our culture prominently. Aliens must think we're so full of ourselves."

D:

... I'm done. Get eaten by a lion you piece of shit.



Sunday, February 28, 2010

WARNING WARNING! Luke Knows Shit About Network Code!!


Man. There is nothing I hate more than someone who assumes something ridiculously complicated should be ridiculously simple. (That's not true. Drivers who don't use their turn signals, I hate more.)

Okay, sure, Sony is experiencing a major snafu this weekend with its online/offline game playing problem. To be honest, I had zero time to play my beloved Heavy Rain on either day to even notice this problem, but of course I have this disgusting urge to read Kotaku and "keep up with current events" if you will.

I'll spare the formalities and just jump to the meat.

Fuck you, Luke. The "design process" you are so non-chalantly referring to incorporates so many company facets and hundreds of thousands of lines of code that even trying to listen to a lead engineer give a simple overview would make your head spin.

If you knew about anything in the video game world you would take 3 seconds to realize that OFFLINE and ONLINE play are DIRECTLY related as a security measure against bootleggers and pirates. I bet you think game artists need to "tighten up the graphics of level 3" before Gold Disc submission. UGH.

I hate your bullshit reporting.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5482328/ps3s-suffering-from-global-network-lockdown

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Nice To Meet You, Here Are Some Words, Pretend I Went To School And Graduated With A Degree Only To Be Pulling The Wool Over All Your Eyes

You know what would be a great reality show? BRIAN ASSCRAFT DOES JAPAN. You see, no reality show is ever profitable unless the main focus is on a complete and utter moron, (or, to be fair, a group of individuals being amazing). But since we know that Brian has no chance of being the latter, we could make our big bucks by focusing on his retardedness.
Actually, this is kind of similar to the whole Kotaku readership -> Brian's meaningless posts relationship. Brian gets paid to post absolutely ASANINE content, and we KEEP reading it. The human race is pretty amazing, but mainly horrendous, simply because the above statement is 100% our own fault.
It may seem like I am leading up to some huge insight to something, but really I'm not. I just wanted a nice buffer to prepare your mind for Brian:
"I don't know about elsewhere as I've never moved really in America!"
I never competed in NASCAR but I sure as hell know that those cars move really FAST.
"The plan is to introduce ourselves on either Saturday and Sunday to some of our neighbors (those living closest to us) and give them the towels."
WHOOOOOA. I feel like Neo taking the red pill! Those living closest to me are.... my neighbors? FUCKING WILD.
Source: http://kotaku.com/5222535/nice-to-meet-you-here-is-some-detergent-be-nice-to-me

Thursday, March 26, 2009

The Dictionary: Break One Out!

You know what I'm not going to let you get away with? That's right, not proofreading.

Why are you the worst writer ever, Mike Fahey? God damn it.


Thursday, March 19, 2009

New Post (Japan Time)

Really Brian? REALLY?? Like we didn't know you were speaking about yourself, once again, IN JAPAN!

Dear God we don't care about your fucking sleep schedule. Get a life! UGHGHGUEBGLKSRDjhbgfdsjkgvbnlkjb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

WHY CAN'T YOU JUST PROOFREAD ONCE!? WHY!?!

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!