News Flash: Big Titted Video Game Character Figures!

Bad grammar, unnecessarily sexual content, and Japanese products that are nearly irrelevant to the average American gamer. The Trifecta of Fuckup rears its ugly head again.

Luke, the only thing worse than some weirdo meticulously documenting the tits on an action figure is you reposting it as news. Yes, there are goons out there that beat off to the $200 statuettes that clutter their sticky computer desk. No, nobody wants to read about it.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5488020/another-busty-valkyria-chronicles-figure-sure-why-not/gallery/

Haru Cares - NO ONE.

Oh my shit did you seriously make a post on a gaming blog about a movie released on 24 screens IN JAPAN

YOU DID

And, you went so far as to illustrate your shitty point with two really superbly boring screencaptures!

Why did I click on the #haruhisuzumiya tag. I cannot believe you, a grown man, married to a Japanese woman, who lives in Japan, can care THAT MUCH ABOUT AN ANIMU GIRL

Source: http://kotaku.com/5474587/so-hows-the-haruhi-suzumiya-movie-doing

You Have Should Proofread This

Do they conjugate that way in Japanese? Man, you guys suck.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5225824/metal-gear-solid-4-goes-budget-in-japan

This Article So That I Want To Die

Listen, you piece of shit excuse for a writer, I can't read your mind OR YOUR WRITING so you are going to have to tell me what I am supposed to be noticing in this screenshot of a game that I can't read anything on.
First of all, why is it relevant to mention erotic games? OMG TEHH SEXXXXX
Then, are you trying to tell me that this batch of screenshots SHOWS something? Because you weren't even close. Heavy on what? Using the same piece of art on the top screen? I sure don't know any DS games that do that. Especially ones that we play, here, in the West.
Infinite Space? More like INFINITE DRIVEL. Goddamn Kotaku is such a horrible blog I can't believe that advertisers pay Gakwer any money or even can bear to have their ads on this neverending stream of Internet diarrhea.

MY POKEMONS LET ME SO YOU THEM

Source: http://kotaku.com/5194722/what-do-you-notice-about-these-ds-screenshots

Rumor: less than 1% of Kotaku's readership can actually read Japanese

You know, I found some other interesting statistics about Japan this morning. Apparently, a staggering .71% of Kotaku's traffic originates in Japan. Since such a significant percentage of their readership is obviously fluent in Japanese, it's completely appropriate to source a Japanese website without even the half-assed courtesy of a machine-translated proxy. You stupid fucks.

So thanks for the completely relevant and important info. I'd never have imagined that Japanese gamers don't like a shitty American movie game about a franchise that has been popular in Japan for decades now. In fact, I still wouldn't believe it if you hadn't backed it up with source material in a language that nearly all of your readership CAN'T EVEN FUCKING READ.

*slow clap* indeed.

Source: ゲームドラゴンボール エボリューション