You would. You fucking would.
Asscraft choosing his news stories to write, a short play:
::Asscraft is sitting alone on the floor of a tiny room crammed with anime figures and Naruto books or whatever weeaboo shit was cool five years ago ::
// His eyes light up, a new email! //
Oh, hooray, the news oni have smiled upon me again. Oh this is PERFECT for my readership! A life-sized anime statue? How unique! How remarkable! What perfect craftsmanship and oh so newsworthy.
::Asscraft begins typing furiously::
:: He ejaculates on keyboard::
::He presses Publish::
.. FIN ..
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