Maximum Shitty

Is it possible to SUSPENSE a girl upside down? Maybe. Regardless, this is perfect example of Kotaku at IT IS worst.

Irrelevant: check
Bad grammar: check
Not really news, just jackoff material: check

Congrats on the trifecta of fuckup, Brian.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5215855/upskirts-no-you-mean-upside-down-skirts

Evidently English is Hard Too

I won't beat a dead horse here, because we all know that I don't care about these dolts and their daily lives, and I think publishing their emails as posts is a shameful way to drive up their post count. I might go on to suppose that very few of Kotaku's readers will pull up their newsfeeds with breakfast, sip their coffee, and muse, "Ah, Bash and Crecente. Your witty banter is such a welcome bright spot amongst the drudgery of video game news."

I will, however, point out that "Bash" can't seem to write the simplest of sentences without fucking them up. I think to criticize and mock.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5201657/moving-is-hard

I Hope Someone Re-Does This Article

I got it! Mike's keyboard is broken. That's the only explanation I can come up with for missing so many letters in such a short article. Maybe if you guys spent more time proofreading and less time jerking it to J-pop idols over your laptops, you'd write ONE goddamn article without an obvious spelling error.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5200513/silent-hill-shattered-memories-re+does-wii-ps2-and-psp

While? Will? Potato, Potahto. It's The Periods That Matter!

No, I'm just kidding Who needs periods, right? Better yet who needs commas either or even apostrophes and question marks Its not like we cant perfectly read what someone is trying to say when they forget the most simplistic of things i know lets get rid of all capitalization too and then we can talk like every other single 18 year old piece of shit on the internet who somehow passed highschool and then got this stupid job writing ridiculous articles for a subpar but amazingly adored website

Source: http://kotaku.com/5183937/see-nintendo-demonstrate-rock-n-roll-climber

Even Alchemy Won't Encourage Proofreading

A full reveal is reveal is promised! Oh I can't wait!

::barf::

Source: http://kotaku.com/5169169/alchemy+based-japanese-rpg-coming-to-ps3

McWhertor Concurs With Fahey. Opposite Apostrophe Day Made Official!

We just promoted you Michael, and to show us your thanks you give us another gem in record time. This one is even in the BIG BOLD TITLE. How could I resist?

Source: http://kotaku.com/5169118/namco-says-its-not-evil-dropped-splatterhouse-devs-for-performance-issues

Michael McWhertor Is Joins The Ranks!

Well, Mr. McWhertor, that didn't take long! (And in the first sentence, too. Bravo!) My quest for the lone Kotaku editor that can post without a grammatical error is almost at an end! Will there ever be a victor!?

Source: http://kotaku.com/5168878/sega-makes-us-release-of-virtual-on-xbla-official

I Calls You Out

How can Kotaku charge for advertising with hideous, first-grade-level writing like this? 

You mean the guitarist for Metallica has played a real guitar? MIND BLOWING

Not to mention the clusterfuck of words called the editors call a sentence.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5168598/metallica-guitarist-has-played-guitar-hero-once

Your Wife's Keyboard Is Broken, Dawg...

...No, wait, you're just an illiterate fuck.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5168459/john-woo-apparently-not-directing-john-woos-stranglehold

I See Your Error And Raise You

Why is it so difficult for them to even read the words grouped together to form things called sentences before they post articles on this "news" blog?

Source: http://kotaku.com/5168136/nintendo-raising-uk-wii-trade-price

See No Evil Nor No Errors

Correct usage of the word:

Suddenly your editor doesn't see so well.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5168065/the-evolution-of-chris-redfield