This Article Was Too Boring to Find Five Dollars

Thank you, kind sir, for providing us readers with another Mike Fahey masterpiece. Seriously, bravo. Your ability to take the most boring piece of "video game news" and surround it with a history lesson on Dolly, the cloned sheep, is truly incredible.

If you subtract all the fluff from your article you are left with this:

"A recent interview in Best Buy's official @Gamer Magazine reveals that plans for a Pokémon based on this loveable creature above were scrapped after being deemed too controversial. What's controversial about Dolly the sheep? She's a clone."

Cool story, bro.

Maybe one day I can start a website where I report on small news stories that I casually read in the grocery line at Ralph's, and then segue into some sci-fi piece of news that takes up 90% of the article. At least you spared us from posting a cell phone picture of the magazine article like your partner, Asscraft, does on a daily ba -- wait...

Wait a damn minute. You didn't even READ this fucking magazine news piece! You got this news from some awful, wiki-style website called BulbaNews.

Holy shit. Not even BulbaNews has the interview we want to read! How is this REPORTING? This is the OPPOSITE of reporting.

And just when I thought things couldn't get any less professional, your second "source" is A MOTHERFUCKING LINK TO THE SIGN-UP PAGE FOR @GAMERS MAGAZINE!

God fucking damn you. You make me so mad at myself for not having the balls to start a god damn website and make money off of awful, empty reporting.

Enjoy your paycheck, prick. I hope you get your asshole stretched out by a cloned bottle-nosed dolphin.

Source: http://kotaku.com/#!5758104/this-pokemon-was-too-controversial-to-live

More like BORE-OPHYLL

Right like you fucktards that wank it to girls in cat ears are not going to buy this game because the girls are "expressionless." Admit it, you like that dead-eyed stare.



Why did you feel the need to post the same screencaps like a dozen times? Are you really illustrating your point more effectively, that the unreleased game might be boring?

Source: http://kotaku.com/5202788/banana-eating-cat-ear-ps3-game-not-expressive

Kotaku: List of Top 25 Most Popular iPhone Applications Contains 112 Games

25 < 112

Source: http://kotaku.com/5202061/tap-tap-revenge-top-tops-iphone-charts

Crecente Gets Boner for id Software, Loses All Blood From His Head

My horrible day has been turned around! Thank you Brian for your unbelievable post. I think this is a record. All you need to do is read your own writing ONCE. Just ONCE, and you would fix these ridiculous errors.

God you're a fucking retard.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5183223/id-considering-enemy-territory-for-quake-live-treatment

Teeming With Life or Teeming With Lye?

Seriously... no sarcasm whatsoever. Considering you are describing the city's ability to look good or evil, "teeming with life" and "teeming with lye" can both work. It's just a damn shame none of you ever proofread your writing and gaurantee us some solid journalism.

Okay so I'm stretching with the whole 'lye is evil' thing, but you get my point! We don't have 70+ posts in 2 weeks because we're making this shit up.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5183004/be-good-be-evil-in-infamous

Brian Crecente Appears Brain Damaged, Birth Records Confirm

The blah blah has revealed in the, that [temp link] will be available on some date/replace soon, when something something gets approved by the ESRB.

Way to proofread, Brian Crecente. You are a star!

Source: http://kotaku.com/5173826/songbird-appears-in-marvel-ultimate-alliance-2

Na na na nanana REAL TIMES

Kotaku, your writing is DY-NO-MITE

And so is your stupid fucking holier-than-thee editing style:

Source: http://kotaku.com/5172649/battleforge-in-action