News Flash: Big Titted Video Game Character Figures!

Bad grammar, unnecessarily sexual content, and Japanese products that are nearly irrelevant to the average American gamer. The Trifecta of Fuckup rears its ugly head again.

Luke, the only thing worse than some weirdo meticulously documenting the tits on an action figure is you reposting it as news. Yes, there are goons out there that beat off to the $200 statuettes that clutter their sticky computer desk. No, nobody wants to read about it.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5488020/another-busty-valkyria-chronicles-figure-sure-why-not/gallery/

Yeah, Thank Goodness.

Oh, good. I'm glad Cave is porting Mushihime-sama Futari, because when I've played 5pb's ports I've notiOH WAIT WE CAN'T PLAY THOSE GAMES HERE IN "THE WEST."

I normally wouldn't go out of my way to post more "onry in Japan" bullshit, but something's fishy about this one. Could it be that it was posted because Cave is the developer behind everyone's favorite big squishy tits loli shooter DeathSmiles? KAWAII! ^-^!!!

Source: http://kotaku.com/5222247/developer-continues-to-struggle-with-shooter-ports

EGL Boner

Yes, a Gothic Lolita shooter is a novelty. I get it. What I don't get is why there are no less than TEN stories about this series in the last six months. There's even one about boob mousepads. Classy, guys.

Why don't you post some trailers or boob mousepads for a game that 99% of your readership CAN ACTUALLY PURCHASE. It's funny, when I search your site for Henry Hatsworth, a game that's been getting a lot of attention lately by real bloggers, I get TWO results. Maybe if Henry were an underage girl with huge squishy tits instead of a frumpy old Englishman, you guys would post more about him.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5222114/new-gothic-lolita-shooter-trailer

Pot, This Is Kettle. You're Black.

Animu bitches AND making fun of other peoples' mistakes both in one post? Man, Asscraft, it's like you write this shit right into our hands anymore. Wow they apparently spelled something wrong. Cause you never, ever, havFUCKING CHRIST I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5222191/whats-wrong-with-this-d3-publisher-trailer

Maximum Shitty

Is it possible to SUSPENSE a girl upside down? Maybe. Regardless, this is perfect example of Kotaku at IT IS worst.

Irrelevant: check
Bad grammar: check
Not really news, just jackoff material: check

Congrats on the trifecta of fuckup, Brian.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5215855/upskirts-no-you-mean-upside-down-skirts

Whele's Wardo

Ah, a list of difficult games. Sounds like an interesting enough top 25. BTW, here's a picture of some japanese guy that you may or may not recognize. Ignore the fact that there's no mention of him anywhere in the article. Just imagine he's there like some kind of easter egg, and if you can find him, you with the gurando no puraizu.
source: http://kotaku.com/5211094/these-games-are-hard

Tough Economic Times Call For Hard Cocks

We are greatly distraught over the huge hit that the world's economy has taken in the past six months. Truly we need to get back on the right track and reassure the global markets that investor security will bHEY CHECK OUT THIS HOT ASIAN CHICK LET'S ALL JACK OFF.

P.S. From Gaston: "Marvelous Entertainment has asking" -- Asscraft

Source: http://kotaku.com/5181271/marvelous-entertainment-asks-17-percent-of-workforce-to-quit

HEY CHECK OUT HOW HOT THIS ASIAN CHICK IS

AREN'T ASIAN CHICKS HOT? YEAH I KNOW THEY TOTALLY ARE. THIS ONE IS REALLY HOT. MY WIFE IS ASIAN, DID YOU KNOW THAT? THAT MEANS SHE'S HOT. I'M MARRIED TO A HOT ASIAN WOMAN. SHE'S FROM JAPAN. OSAKA, JAPAN. I PUT MY WEINER IN HER.


I hate this man with every fiber of my being.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5177793/this-girl-is-wearing-a-famicom-bikini-she-crafted-herself

Now featuring weeaboo content that extends beyond the boundaries of my screen

Fucking look at this shit! I tried to take a screenshot with the picture and a good portion of text, but I COULDN'T BECAUSE THE GOD DAMN JAPANESE BROAD IS TAKING UP MY ENTIRE WEB BROWSER. Also, please take note that if you scroll down, you see another screen full of thumbnails of this bitch. Kotaku: Where news means pictures of asian girls in dresses.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5174427/shoko-nakagawa-returns-but-minus-the-mecha-cosplay