Everything Is Better In Japan

EVEN THE INTERNET

Because, according to Asscraft, rumors are circulating on the JAPANESE INTERNET

Clearly superior to the slow, fat, lazy American Internet!

Is there a point where his ridiculous attitude towards Japan/America constitutes racism? Nah, I won't play that card yet. Because I'm sure we'll get the chance later.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5474554/dont-worry-about-final-fantasy-xi-just-yet

What To Hell?

You guys are to worst. Seriously, the first fucking sentence?

Source: http://kotaku.com/5221311/ea-sports-games-bundled-with-wii-motionplus

Kotac Lays Out The Bad Spelling or The ABCs of Irony

I thought maybe I was missing something. Even though I'm a big fan of the Rock Band franchise, I thought that perhaps "Harmonic" was a fan-site or a Rock Band forum that I wasn't aware of. Nope, Mike just failed to spell the name of the developer wrong. The name of the developer that's clearly legible right there on the trailer.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5203436/rock-band-unplugged-trailer-shows-how-easy-love-can-be

Kotaku: List of Top 25 Most Popular iPhone Applications Contains 112 Games

25 < 112

Source: http://kotaku.com/5202061/tap-tap-revenge-top-tops-iphone-charts

Kotaku Is Full Of Shit, Doesn't Apologize

Article 1: Kotaku claims that Ghostbusters for the PSP is on its way thanks to their sniffing around the ESRB's dumpster or some shit.

Article 2: Kotaku reveals that Ghostbusters is NOT headed to the PSP because "Sometimes (the ESRB is) not such a great resource."

Article 3: Kotaku apologizes for lying to their readership by claiming that a game was destined for release simply from gleaning info from a sometimes unreliable source.

OH WAIT.

That last article doesn't exist because Kotaku is too fucking proud/lazy/incompetent to admit they made a mistake. Of course, rectifying every mistake Kotaku makes would be a lot of work. Hell, you could almost fill an entire blog with Kotaku's mistakes.

Sources:
http://kotaku.com/5193944/the-ghostbusters-coming-to-psp
http://kotaku.com/5197528/atari-busts-hopes-of-ghostbusters-for-psp

Kotaku is the worst at what they do

Mike, come on. Did you decide to write the first sentence, stop halfway, and then go huff paint for an hour? And if you're supposed to be a gaming journalist, how come your only exposure to this game so far has been a couple of screenshots and this trailer? Oh, that's right. It's because you wouldn't know gaming or journalism if they DP'd you.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5195686/wolverine-behind+the+scenes-is-best-there-is-at-what-it-does

Brian Crecente is making my life difficult

Man, we were going through a drought there over the weekend. Owen "writes kinda" Good made me think for a second that you guys might actually be catching on. Thankfully though, Crecente stepped in this morning and set things right. Er, wrong.

Seriously though Brian, if you're gonna make three obvious errors in the same story, can you at least have the decency to put them all close together? Your errors are so widespread that I had to screencap them three times. I'm starting to think you're doing this on purpose so we'll get lazy and skip stuff like this. Wait, you guys are far too stupid for such a clever plan. Nevermind.I discovered that you don't know your tenses.
So, id is incorporating this veil into every multiplayer game ever? That's a tall order. On a related note, I think I might start putting my adjectives after my nouns too. It makes me sound old-timey when I'm making fun of the websites ridiculous.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5190809/wolfenstein-lifts-the-veil

When typing the how when who into with what I hate you stupid jerks.

My nose started bleeding when I tried to make sense of this paragraph. That second sentence quite literally made me yell out loud in frustration. How can you let this slide, Brian? How in the ever living fuck you 'tards can even manage to turn a computer on, let alone convince someone to pay you for this is nothing short of a goddamn miracle. It's fucked up. ALMOST as fucked up as that second sentence.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5184511/hands-on-with-iphones-star-defense