FFVII new and improved international version. Wait a minute...

Hot off the presses, final fantasy 7 is available for download for japanese PSN account holders. This isn't that terrible a news story, as a lot of neat downloads are often only available to select regions at first. What DOES make this story terrible is that this fucktwat is telling his 99% american audience about the new features in this special "international version" that is actually just THE REBRANDED AMERICAN VERSION. WE SAW THIS SHIT 12 YEARS AGO. Oh, and thanks for telling me the price in yen you god damn dickfuck.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5206591/play-final-fantasy-vii-on-your-ps3-now

Japan: A World Without Scanners

I'm sad to report that there are NO WORKING SCANNERS IN ALL OF JAPAN. The only way that residents of the most technologically advanced society on earth can capture the printed word digitally, is to photograph it with their 30 megapixel cameraphones. Unfortunately, our country's bandwidth is unable to cope with such large images, so smaller versions of these images are frequently displayed on American websites. Most style guides will dictate that because the vast majority of our nation cannot read the Japanese language, these small images serve as an appropriate source for the accompanying article.

tl:dr Bash-hole posted a thumbnail of a photo of a magazine that we can't read and called it news.




Source: http://kotaku.com/5202995/eagerly-awaited-koei-ps3-title-still-in-development

Classic Cock

Sometimes you don't need fancy gimmicks or crazy metaphors to be pissed off at asscraft. This is one of those classic timeless examples that never ceases to piss me off. Any normal reporter would link to the notice and tell you the translation, but this classless egotistical fuck sees fit to post a picture of the japanese that he just happens to know how to read. Suck my dick you son of a bitch

Source: http://kotaku.com/5196756/konami-ps3-baseball-game-goes-offline-the-end

Brian Ashcraft is nearly 100 percent a failure

I drop shadows like MCA drops beats.

Source: http://kotaku.com/5191628/final-fantasy-xiii-uses-nearly-100-percent-of-ps3-power

As has been previous announced, Asshat thinks we can all read pixelated Japanese.

At first, I thought Asshat himself interviewed Tetsuya Nomura for this article. Then, I realized that was ridiculous, because who would let themselves be interviewed by this doofus?

Then it occurred to me that he might have overheard this interview at the GDC. But no, remember that Asshat is in JAPAN JAPAN I LIVE IN JAPAN DESU NE!?

But I finally figured it out. Dickhole here read this in some unsourced Japanese magazine, and instead of referencing said article, he simply took a picture of it. Brilliant. Well, I guess since that's what real journalists do, I can do the same thing for my source:


Just kidding. I refernce my shit for real, jerks.

Source: ブライアンは、愚かな女です (That's Google Translate for "Brian is a stupid cunt")