Anime, Boobs Anime Boobs Waifu Anime

THESE THINGS WRITE THEMSELVES

You would. You fucking would.

Asscraft choosing his news stories to write, a short play:

::Asscraft is sitting alone on the floor of a tiny room crammed with anime figures and Naruto books or whatever weeaboo shit was cool five years ago ::
// His eyes light up, a new email! //
Oh, hooray, the news oni have smiled upon me again. Oh this is PERFECT for my readership! A life-sized anime statue? How unique! How remarkable! What perfect craftsmanship and oh so newsworthy.

::Asscraft begins typing furiously::
:: He ejaculates on keyboard::
::He presses Publish::

.. FIN ..

NEWS FLASH NEWS FLASH JAPANESE LADY PLAYS VIDEO GAMES

HOLY SHIT POST SOME STREET FIGHTER STATISTICS TO MAKE THIS ABOUT VIDEO GAMES
OH MY GOD SOMETIMES GIRLS PLAY GAMES! I think to properly report that fact, you should post multiple pictures of AZN WMN!
I bet you've got her on speed dial on your minuscule DoCoMo phone with four Doraemon charms hanging off it, don't you, Brian? Oh wait, no, because you're married to a Japanese woman. I almost forgot what a huge fetish you have for Japanese women, that you demonstrate by posting multiple pictures of Japanese women.
I'm renaming your blog, douche.

Kotaku: The Gamer's Guide To Japanese Women By Someone Qualified To Tell You Because He Is Married To One

Source: http://kotaku.com/5189702/the-top-spelunker-player-in-japan-is-a-pin+up-model

Brian Asscraft Wishes This Chick is His Japanese Waifu

Hey guise do you think if I make a post about this super kawaii idol lady that she'll acknowledge my shitty video game website!!!11!!

She wrote a book in 2005! She blogged a lot in 2006! Oh she got an Xbox 360.

RELEVANT! NEWSWORTHY!

Oh, wait, boobs, my bad. JAPANESE BOOBS SUMIMASEN BRIAN-SAN

Source: http://kotaku.com/5172863/everyone-wants-to-be-xbox-live-friends-with-shoko-nakagawa