Anime, Boobs Anime Boobs Waifu Anime

THESE THINGS WRITE THEMSELVES

You would. You fucking would.

Asscraft choosing his news stories to write, a short play:

::Asscraft is sitting alone on the floor of a tiny room crammed with anime figures and Naruto books or whatever weeaboo shit was cool five years ago ::
// His eyes light up, a new email! //
Oh, hooray, the news oni have smiled upon me again. Oh this is PERFECT for my readership! A life-sized anime statue? How unique! How remarkable! What perfect craftsmanship and oh so newsworthy.

::Asscraft begins typing furiously::
:: He ejaculates on keyboard::
::He presses Publish::

.. FIN ..

JFC slow your roll

Who is this fresh meat new-ish writer on Kotaku? A new target, you say??

Cool forty-fucking-page diatribe on a fucking cartoon character and how they are "the worst." You know what else is the worst?

1. Kotaku
2. You
3. Brian Ashcraft
4. Kotaku

If you'd put this much energy towards writing real content maybe Kotaku wouldn't be such a cesspool of internet garbage. N/M that earth's already been salted.

We here at GJK are fueled ENTIRELY by hate and rage, and our shit doesn't even go past the fold on your mobile device. Tina, you got no chill.